Your self-esteem comes directly from the thoughts you have. If you change your thoughts, your self-esteem will change too. This process is a form of Reiki that we can all perform on ourselves. Here are some common problems and strategies to banish them:

Self-hate 

 

A feeling of anger and frustration about who you are with an inability to forgive yourself is the hallmark of self-hate. If you feel this way, your sense of who you are is outdated and needs to be changed. Others (parents, ex-partners, colleagues) have likely passed it to you, and you do not have to keep it.

 

You can change it by making yourself repeat a positive response for every negative thought. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. No one is all good or all bad.

 

Perfectionism

 

A perfectionist is lives with a constant sense of failure and tends to nitpick at insignificant problems. Ironically, this thought pattern leads in the direction of less perfection in your life and the world around you.

 

You can change it by seeing realistic expectations for yourself. View the bigger picture and take pride in that.

 

Bad body Image

 

A negative body image and the attendant feelings of unworthiness leads to unhappiness and frustration.

 

You can change it by avoiding comparing yourself to others. Accept that everyone is different. Get daily exercise, a healthy diet, take care of your appearance.

 

Feeling Worthless

 

If you think that you are not as valuable as others, you walk through the world with a feeling of worthlessness. This feeling only comes from a story you are telling yourself.

 

To fix it, accept that we all come with our unique talents. We have to take pride in our abilities. Admire others’ traits, but not at the expense of your own. We teach others how to treat us. Practice projecting yourself as someone whose opinions are just as valid as others.

 

Oversensitivity

 

If criticism angers you, you may be oversensitive.

 

When you hear criticism or disparaging words, evaluate whether the words are valid. If criticism is unfair, say you disagree. If there is some truth, learn from what’s being said and move on.

 

Fear

 

If you feel small and believe you are powerless to change anything in your world, you will always experience life in a way that reinforces that feeling.

 

No matter what happens, you always have power over how you will respond to life. You need to challenge your anxieties with the facts and build confidence by facing your fears.

 

Anger

 

If something seemingly small can trigger outbursts of fury, you are feeling anger. Repressed pain and anger accumulate in us, and you need to clear them away.

 

When you feel anger, step away from the situation, remain calm, express how you are feeling at the time. Try to understand what makes you angry. Own it and let it go.

 

People-pleasing

 

If you feel you have to please others so that they like, love and respect

you, you will always give more than you get. When we do that, we often end up feeling used.

 

Learn how to say no. Your worth doesn’t depend on others approval, and people like and love you for who you are, not what you do for them. Think about your needs first, set healthy boundaries, place limits on what you will and won’t do.